Inside a Romanian Orphanage, Page 2
Part 2: Making a Special Friend
One little girl was 3 years old and cross-eyed. When you are cross-eyed in Romania, you are labeled as mentally retarded. I was not impressed with the labeling. She could not speak at all, she would scream as soon as she left a unit and went outside, a scream of being totally petrified. She could not eat any food that wasn't liquid. I tried chocolate, puddings, just about everything but she would not open her mouth for anything. The workers thought I was crazy to even try as she was "retarded". I was out to prove them wrong.
Turning It Into A Game
We would play "let's screw up our face and poke out our tongues" in the hope of getting her to move her facial muscles that were needed for chewing of food. After much patience, in fact after 3 months of sitting with her daily and encouraging her to eat normal food, she was able to eat with a teaspoon and even feed herself.
When I first met her, she could not speak at all but after only a month she said her first word.. "tickle, tickle." I had become the tickle monster for the children, lying them on their backs on a mattress and then tickling them. They loved it! All I had to say was "tickle" and they would run for the mattress and throw themselves on their backs and start to giggle before I even started to tickle. She would hold up her finger and wiggle it in the air saying "tickle, tickle," and if she wanted my attention, she would stamp her foot and yell "tickle, tickle!" This was my call sign! She would tickle anything and everything... the soft toys, the other children, and she loved to tickle me. I had big scratch marks down my neck where she had lovingly tickled me.
Next we worked on going outside without the screaming. This took quite a bit of doing. We started by playing peek-a-boo with the door that led outside and then jumping on one step and taking the toys to play with. It was very much one step at a time. There were about 25 steps to the bottom and it took a while to get down each one of them. I had to get very inventive with games getting her out the door. Finally the day came when she took my hand, climbed down the steps and just walked outside to play with the other children. I cried with relief!
© Leslie McCarthy
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Comments
I know that this is an old post, but could someone please help me get in contact with Leslie McCarthy, or anyone else who may know how to volunteer in a Romanian orphanage?
I'm a college student who will be graduating this summer, and would love to work with young infants and toddlers in such places. I know that this is the most crucial time for providing a secure base, in terms of attachment, and for fending off the devastating effects of RAD. I'm a psychology student, but my focus has been child development. I spent last summer working with an Autistic child using the Applied Behavior Approach (ABA), and would love to just be there for children who have little else in the world.
Thanks,
Jessamyn
Posted by: jessa at 04/05/2007 07:30 PM
My younger son from Romania has never spoken of what the orphanage was like. He says he doesn't remember. I think his memories are jumbled with dreams and he's not sure what's real. My older Romanian son described the orphanage and his life there to a SW who was helping us adopting after his first adoption failed. It was pretty disturbing.
Single parents can adopt American children and children from many other countries. I am far from wealthy and actual, fall at the poverty line for income. It does not take money to adopt older children in the US.
Romania is closed to adoptions for the most part.
Posted by: lucy at 10/01/2006 04:12 PM
I am just heartbroken. There are so many children that want and need love and it is so difficult to adopt a child. You always hear, you don't make enought money, you have to be married, you need this, you need that. Well, I may not be married and my not be a millionare, but I have an extreme about of love and hope and faith and a future to give to a child. I sit and watch the news programs on TV about the orphanages, how can these countries and agencies say that someone can't adoot because of their annual income or marriage status, don't they understand that getting out of the orphanages is what they are fighting for, to be able to get these children into a loving home, but they need to understand that you don't need a married couple or a million dollars for these children to have happy, healthy lives. Just give the children a chance to have that. PLEASE, sit back and re-think all of the limits that you put on being able to adopt a child. Be it in the USA or in another country, just give these children a chance, don't make them suffer and then die and these young ages in these orphanages. Give them a chance to see that there is someone out there that loves them, that can give them a home and that they can have something to smile about. I am 34 years old and I am a CNA, I live in a 2 bedroom apartment and I would love to be able to bring one of those children home and raise them and for them to be able to know what love is, but I know what the respnse would already be, We are very sorry, but you are not married and your income is to low. BULL HONKY!!! I have love to give a child. GIVE THEM A CHANCE. PLEASE.
Posted by: sadheart at 09/29/2006 04:38 PM
Hello-My husband and I have looked into adopting from Romania but I am confused as to what the current regulations are. We are under the assumption that as of now, you cannot adopt a Romanian child if you are not a relative or a Romanian citizen. Does anyone know if this is indeed true? Thanks so much.
Posted by: beurremanie at 07/06/2006 01:03 PM
This is probably the best personal description of children in these orphanages I have seen. The labeling of children based on what we consider in the states a very minor medical condition. And the lack of basic child development.
It also makes a very important point, we all change the world, but we can make a difference.
Posted by: dianescraps at 06/17/2006 09:13 PM
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