Inside a Romanian Orphanage
Part 1: Changing a Child's World
My first day at the orphanage was overwhelming, with 235 children ranging in age from birth to 3 years old. I worked in a room of 16 children aged 9 months to 3 years. They all wanted to climb over me, pull me down, and hug me at the same time.
For the first week, I just observed - through a mass of legs, arms and bodies - to see what the children did and how they did it. They had no concept of playing or how to play. What do you do when you are given a toy? The children liked to throw it against the walls, out the window or hit each other on the head - all of which made very interesting sounds! The children were very lovable, all wanting attention at the same time, and I learned early on to walk into the room and sit on the floor straight away to avoid being pushed over.
My days started with hugs all around, although not all the children like to be hugged or even touched. One little boy liked to run and hit the wall, bounce off, fall down, get up, and then start the process all over again. He wouldn't allow me to touch him for the first 5 months. Finally, he got tired of watching the other children seemingly having a nice time being hugged by me. On the day he allowed me to hug him, he had been bouncing off the walls and I made a grab for him as he sped by. I held him in the breast-feeding position with one arm under my arm behind my back, and held him firmly, rocking him and singing quietly. He stayed in that position for 20 minutes. He was 3 years old and my arm was ready to drop off by then, but I didn't want to put him down. He laid perfectly contented for the whole 20 minutes, putting his thumb in his mouth. He relaxed and went into a semi sleep. After this he was a frequent visitor for his turn for a hug!
© Leslie McCarthy
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Comments
I know that this is an old post, but could someone please help me get in contact with Leslie McCarthy, or anyone else who may know how to volunteer in a Romanian orphanage?
I'm a college student who will be graduating this summer, and would love to work with young infants and toddlers in such places. I know that this is the most crucial time for providing a secure base, in terms of attachment, and for fending off the devastating effects of RAD. I'm a psychology student, but my focus has been child development. I spent last summer working with an Autistic child using the Applied Behavior Approach (ABA), and would love to just be there for children who have little else in the world.
Thanks,
Jessamyn
Posted by: jessa at 04/05/2007 07:30 PM
My younger son from Romania has never spoken of what the orphanage was like. He says he doesn't remember. I think his memories are jumbled with dreams and he's not sure what's real. My older Romanian son described the orphanage and his life there to a SW who was helping us adopting after his first adoption failed. It was pretty disturbing.
Single parents can adopt American children and children from many other countries. I am far from wealthy and actual, fall at the poverty line for income. It does not take money to adopt older children in the US.
Romania is closed to adoptions for the most part.
Posted by: lucy at 10/01/2006 04:12 PM
I am just heartbroken. There are so many children that want and need love and it is so difficult to adopt a child. You always hear, you don't make enought money, you have to be married, you need this, you need that. Well, I may not be married and my not be a millionare, but I have an extreme about of love and hope and faith and a future to give to a child. I sit and watch the news programs on TV about the orphanages, how can these countries and agencies say that someone can't adoot because of their annual income or marriage status, don't they understand that getting out of the orphanages is what they are fighting for, to be able to get these children into a loving home, but they need to understand that you don't need a married couple or a million dollars for these children to have happy, healthy lives. Just give the children a chance to have that. PLEASE, sit back and re-think all of the limits that you put on being able to adopt a child. Be it in the USA or in another country, just give these children a chance, don't make them suffer and then die and these young ages in these orphanages. Give them a chance to see that there is someone out there that loves them, that can give them a home and that they can have something to smile about. I am 34 years old and I am a CNA, I live in a 2 bedroom apartment and I would love to be able to bring one of those children home and raise them and for them to be able to know what love is, but I know what the respnse would already be, We are very sorry, but you are not married and your income is to low. BULL HONKY!!! I have love to give a child. GIVE THEM A CHANCE. PLEASE.
Posted by: sadheart at 09/29/2006 04:38 PM
Hello-My husband and I have looked into adopting from Romania but I am confused as to what the current regulations are. We are under the assumption that as of now, you cannot adopt a Romanian child if you are not a relative or a Romanian citizen. Does anyone know if this is indeed true? Thanks so much.
Posted by: beurremanie at 07/06/2006 01:03 PM
This is probably the best personal description of children in these orphanages I have seen. The labeling of children based on what we consider in the states a very minor medical condition. And the lack of basic child development.
It also makes a very important point, we all change the world, but we can make a difference.
Posted by: dianescraps at 06/17/2006 09:13 PM
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