Deciding to adopt is a big decision to make. And many prospective adoptive parents have to deal with some emotional issues or trauma before beginning the adoption process. At least it's recommended. One of these issues that should be dealt with pre-adoption is the pain and loss that comes with infertility. If you're dealing with the emotional after-effects of infertility and you've decided to begin the adoption process, take a moment to evaluate your emotional health at this moment. Have you effectively coped with your or your partner's infertility? If not, here are some ways to help you emotionally heal so you can move forward with adoption without anything holding you back.
No Blame - It's natural to find someone or something to place blame on when dealing with tragic experiences, like infertility. No one is to blame, not you and not your partner. Even if you or your partner did something that caused the infertility, no blame should be placed, no matter what. Placing blame will only cause increased hatred, anger, and sadness. Placing blame can also easily destroy any relationship. Your relationship and your emotional state aren't worth the negative effects of placing that blame on someone or something.
Regain Your Sense of Self - Experiencing infertility, whether it's been for many years or it's a recent experience, can diminish your sense of self. This includes your self-esteem and your feelings of self-worth. Before you begin the adoption process, it's important to regain your sense of self. You may find that this is the hardest part of this process. And it also goes back to not placing blame on yourself or others. Take the time you need to rediscover who you are and who you want to be.
Deal with the Emotional and the Physical - Infertility can show itself both emotionally and physically. And for this purpose, you can consider the spiritual side as part as the emotional side. You can try to cope with infertility completely, but it might be better suited to you if you choose to work on each facet until you're ready to move on. For example, start with healing physically, meaning from treatments that left soreness, bruises, wounds, or a general feeling of being unwell. After you can mark that off your list, you can move onto the emotional side of healing, which is usually more intensive than the physical healing. This will help you maintain control of your situation and help you see your progress. And it should limit the overwhelming feeling that comes with emotionally and physically healing during infertility.
You Don't Have to Give Up - Just because you're experiencing infertility and considering adoption doesn't mean you have to give up on fertility treatments. You can go through adoption and fertility treatments at the same time. It's completely up to you. But first, you might want to check with the adoption agency you're using. Some have other requirements. Just be aware of the emotional and physical toll it can have on you. And if you decide to do both, make sure you have a stable support system in place.
Coping with infertility and healing from it pre-adoption is important because it helps you focus your attention on the task at hand, and the adoption process can take a lot out of a person. Keep in mind that coping with infertility doesn't mean that you're over it. You probably will always feel some emotional pain over your infertility. It's natural. It's normal. Embrace your experiences and life in general. Then you can move on and begin the exciting adoption process.
Credits: Karolina Maria
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