The Most Common Characteristics Shared by Successful Adoptive Parents

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By examining the cases of many couples that have successfully built their families through adoption, I have discovered some significant similarities in how they have approached the adoption process. I am convinced that the concepts that these similarities represent are the main reasons why these couples have experienced the level of success in adoption that they have. By successfully mastering and applying these concepts in their search for adoption opportunities, many of these couples have been able to adopt two, three or even four times. I would like to share with you the most significant similarities that I have observed.

1. They Believe In Miracles and Do Their Part to Help Them Happen:

Of all the great scientific minds of our time, the person whose brilliance and insights have received the greatest respect and acclaim, and have clearly withstood the tests of time, is Albert Einstein. Although not necessarily recognized as an authority in spiritual matters, Mr. Einstein did have the opportunity through most of his adult life to closely examine the forces that allow the universe to function in the miraculous way that it does. Not long before his death, and after living a long and very fulfilling life of searching for truth and for the answers to many of life’s more perplexing questions, Mr. Einstein made the following observation:

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Miracles are events that have no logical explanation within the limited scope of human understanding. If these events involve matters of the heart or spirit, as opposed to random or unexplainable physical phenomenon, then the presence of Divine intervention becomes even more obvious and assured. Most adoption matters involve the lives of innocent children whose spirits, which give life to their physical bodies, have just recently arrived from their former Heavenly home. Why then should we doubt that what we may ignorantly call a miracle in the context of an adoption, is nothing more than the direct intervention of a loving Father in Heaven who cares more deeply about the safely and well-being of His little angels than we may ever know?

If you agree with the way Albert Einstein has described the significance of miracles in our lives, which of his two alternate views of life best describes the way you approach your search for the RIGHT adoption opportunity for you?

We have all observed the print and broadcast media actively publicizing sensationalized and discouraging stories about failed or broken adoptions, or about adoptive parents who seem to try forever to adopt, but are still childless. The media does this because this is the kind of sensational news reporting that excites viewers, improves ratings and sells advertising.

Unfortunately, no one gets all that excited about the thousands of adoption successes that never get mentioned by the media and therefore go virtually unnoticed, yet exist right along side each adoption failure. If we are not careful, we can let the decisions of editors and news directors improperly and unfairly taint our beliefs about adoption. With those inaccurate beliefs, we develop pessimistic, or even cynical, attitudes about the adoption process, which can then diminish our faith and legitimate hopes relating to adoption, rob us of positive energy and destroy our chances for success and happiness through adoption. Far too many adoptive couples unknowingly allow themselves to be captured in this painful trap as they buy into the negative and very inaccurate public view of adoption.

In spite of what these over-publicized stories may say, in the more than 23 years that I have been involved with adoptions, I have not know anyone that really wanted to adopt, and was willing to seriously work at it, that was not able to adopt and become a parent. By making this bold statement, I do not mean that every one of them adopted a healthy, white newborn infant within a month or two, but they all became parents within a reasonable period of time, and in a way that was very acceptable, enjoyable and fulfilling for them. This happened for them because they saw the vision of what could happen, believed that it would happen, and then went out and did their share to make it happen.

Did all of these adoptions take place quickly and easily? No. Did all of them just happen without any creativity or consistent effort by the adoptive parents? No. Did they each happen in their own very unique miraculous and very fulfilling way? YES!

For those that are familiar with the more common scriptural referenced to miracles and what it takes to bring them about, you will understand that faith and prayer play an enormous role in the occurrence of miracles. Jesus personally taught that:

"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."
(Matthew 21:22)

When your close circle of supportive friends and family include those that share your beliefs and feelings about the connection that exists between faith and prayers and the occurrence of miracles, it would be very appropriate for you to share your goals with them and request their faith and prayers on your behalf, as well as on the behalf of your birthmother, who is out there somewhere searching for answers and solutions to the challenges she has in her life.

So if you want to be successful in your search for the RIGHT adoption for you, you will need to ignore the sensationalism of the media and the negative stories that others will try to tell you, and really believe the truth about yourself, and that miracles can happen to you in the adoption process. You will then need to do your part to see that the right environment exists for a miracle to happen in your life, which must include acting on that truth, which is: You CAN adopt; you CAN become a parent; and as you go through the process, you CAN enjoy the journey. If you truly believe that miracles will happen, and you are willing to do your part to see that they do, then I have no doubt that miracles will happen for you. I know this because I have personally seen it happen.

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Note: Our authors are dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent, and open conversation about adoption. The opinions expressed here may not reflect the views of Adoption.com.

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